Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's shark week go big or go home
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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