Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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