Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
