That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize