tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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