doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
