My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
