carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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