This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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