I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
