I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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