the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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