You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
