i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
so much tequila, so little girl.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize