dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I currently don't understand fingers.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
