i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
