dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
