I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
