help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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