in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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