I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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