Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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