If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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