Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
