My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
