I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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