Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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