Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
