guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
