Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I AM VODKA MAN
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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