Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
