So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
