I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
