I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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