I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
