There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
