He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My first STD was from a foam party
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
