well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
