how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
