Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
