How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
