As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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