i think i scared a bird with my dick
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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