You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
