There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
