my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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