I cockslap morals
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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