One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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