Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
