hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i will never coherently bang her
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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