i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
