Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
