We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
