Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
