shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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