she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
