glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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