make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
