You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
