The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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