everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
