I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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