So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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