is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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